Good skills for people

All of us want good communication skills, interpersonal skills, social skills, leadership skills and soft skills. Success in any business, occupation or profession depends on 85% of people skills. Lot of people fail in life because they haven't mastered the skills with people. All your personality depends on relation with other people. To be more happy we should not be more intelligent.

Following are important points in dealing with people.

1) Understanding the human ego.

In the heart of everyone there is some thing which demands respect. We are more interested in ourselves. Every person wants to feel important. If you like yourself then you will like others. We should fulfill others ego by giving respect and approval. To get good from people, their basic needs should be fulfilled. For e.g. if a person is hungry, we should give him food first because they cannot give attention to other things. when the ego-hunger is satisfied and when they are in high self esteem they are cheerful, generous, tolerant and willing to listen to others. when self esteem is low they think negative, they talk a lot, they show-off ( deliberately behave to attract attention) and they become aggressive. With genuine compliments and real praise you can feed the ego of low esteem people. create the habit of giving five sincere compliments each day. Every person help or may not help depends on own ego. Help others like themselves better. Satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.

2) The importance of making others feel important.

It is within your power to make them like themselves better. It is within your power to make them feel appreciated and accepted. Always give respect and nice with people makes them feel important. You must recognize the other person. Give credit for suggestions. Encourage others. Don't criticize employees in front of others. Ask employees for their opinions. Inform employees for their progress. Think other people are important. when you are trying to deal with a group try to acknowledge everyone in group. Notice people when you get time. Don't try to compete with any one. If you want to impress any one let them know that you are impressed by them. when some body insults you, ask yourself does it make any real difference. Don't try to win battles if it is related to ego.

3) Controlling the Actions and Attitudes of others:

You have to adopt the attitude you want others to express. When you want to get out of an explosive situation keep your voice as soft as possible don't wait until other person gets angry. Always act confidently. To get confidence you have to believe in yourself and act confidently to get others belief in you. Moderate your tone of voice. smile from within.

4) Creating a good impression:

When you are dealing with others set the stage depends on situation. Before going to any kind of discussion ask yourself what do i really want from this. what mood i should have. create the tone according to that. Don't worry what others think because the world forms its opinion of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves. If some body asks you in which company you are working, if u can't say the name of company say the quality of the company which you like. For e.g: I work in one of top five IT companies. Never go for competition with any one. If you want to make a good impression boost your own product. If you want others should yes to you, Good rule is ask some preliminary questions for which they must say yes. Then ask big question for which they say yes.

5) Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation:

Attracting people with Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation.
Acceptance: Accept others as they are,
Approval: See the things which are good in others.
Appreciation: show their good values in them. some ways of appreciation are

• Don't keep them waiting.
  
• If there is someone you cannot see immediately, acknowledge their presence.
  
• Thank people.
  
• Treat them as special.

6) Communicate Effectively:

Get people talking about themselves.

• Ask questions like Where are you from? what do you think of our weather? What business are you in? If any body says I work in a software company near to majestic. Don't ask directly about software company, ask first where is majestic. then ask which software company. Always show you are interested in themselves. If some body tells lets talk about yourself. what do u think about my working domain. topic is related to you but he is talking.
• Talk about yourself when you are invited and asked. Talk little bit about yourself but don't overdo it. use me too technique. If someone says I was raised on a farm and you say "I was too". Any thing about you or your past that is similar to others will help them to like you. Always use happy talk. If any thought disturbs you write it in a paper burn it, repeat it three times.
  

7) Listening:

when you are listening what they are saying, then they think that you are smart. Listening makes you clever. People will tell you what they want if you will listen. Listening helps overcome self-consciousness. You should know what people want, what they need and who they are in order to deal them effectively. Practice the art of listening:

• look at the person who is talking.
• Nod your head
• Lean forward
• Ask questions.
  
• Don't interrupt.
  
• Stick to the speakers subject.

8) Getting people to Agree:

• Listen to them completely, pause before answering, Don't try to win 100%, State your idea moderately and accurately, Speak through third parties like Statistics, records, history and quotes. To say others are wrong say like this " I felt the same way about it at first, After getting more information it changed my complete picture.

• Giving Praise: Thank people with their names by looking at them. If you want to be happy look good things in people. praise must be sincere, praise the act or attribute rather than the person.
  

9) Criticizing others without offending them:

Criticism must be made in absolute privacy. Preface criticism with kind word or compliment, criticize the act, not the person. If you do any mistake say, I don't know what is expected of me. Ask for cooperation, don't demand it for e.g. Will you make these corrections?. One criticism to an offense ( don't criticize again and again) , Finish in a friendly fashion ( I know i can count on you).

How to Achieve Success in Life

Success can be many things, Success means better life, Success means finding real happiness, Remember one thing size of success is limited to size of thinking. If you think small your success is also small or if you think big and believe in yourself your success will be big.

• Belief : Always think positive, Person belief is known by the way he talks,walks and acts. you grows small in the group of people if you don't have belief what you do. Always generate positive thoughts from your mind. you can't sell a product if you can't believe in yourself. All discoveries are made because they have self belief in themselves. Successful people are ordinary people they believe in themselves what they do.

• This is some thing which takes time, No body going to help you, you have to work hard and achieve it.

• Three components are important in life. What you are going to do. How you accomplish your goal and the results will be greater respects from your friends and family, greater status, Increase in income and standard of living is higher.
  

• The place you work is a laboratory, It includes the people you work, you talk and yourself. This place is for you to work to achieve your goal. See the difference in successful and unsuccessful persons.

• The more successful the person is, The more less excuses he makes. Every unsuccessful person says I don't have time I am fully busy. Every body has got 24 hours it mainly depends how they utilize it effectively. In a year you have got 8760 hours.Total hours sleeping in a year= 2738.Total hours eating in a year= 730. Total hours in phone and chatting = 900. Total hours in traveling = 730. If a person is spending this much of time in all these activities, why they are saying I don't have time. Successful people don't say i don't have time. Successful people always like to face challenges. A successful person knows success is a extra effort and hard work.
  

• Successful people never tell any health excuses. No body is interested to know about your health. If you say i feel great you get more confidence in yourself.
  

• Always be happy with what you have. For example if you are getting less pay, you can say at least i have job for living.

• Never give age excuses like i am too old to do this or I am too young to do this. There are lot of people who got success after lot of age. Age is not a barrier it is an excuse. Believe that you can handle any kind of responsibility.The productive age is from 20 to 70. Invest your future time in really what you want to do.

• The only thing you should have interest and enthusiasm. Its not important how much intelligence you have.It is most important how you use your intelligence. Attitude is more important than intelligence. Always think the better ways of doing things. Always use your mind to get solution.

• People are measured not by their money, family support, friends or job he is doing. People are measured the way they think. Clearing all obstacles which stop you to think big. Think what are your major attributes that helps you in getting success. For example if anybody else is getting promotion compare with him what are the qualities you are lacking. Try to improve those qualities for e.g. if your colleague has good communication skills and try to improve that one to add in yours assets for getting success. you create a kind of your image in others with the words you speak. So always use positive words.

• Practicing give value to things around you. If you give value to these things then you can also give value to peoples. Small things matters for a Successful person.

• Also think creative. new, better and improved ways of doing things. Success at home, work and society are important.They are many creative ways of doing things.

• Before you begin your work think how can i do better work today. Improve quality and quantity of your work.

• Eliminate the word impossible from your thinking and speaking vocabulary. Take a task which is difficult and write down the reasons you can't do it. Try to work out on the reasons. Man goes where he wants to go. Take risk in doing the things. There is no one best way to do things. Always welcome new ideas. Expose yourself to new restaurants, New books, new friends. Do some thing different in weekends. Be progressive. Get up a hour earlier for planning the daily activities.

• Achieving high level of success requires support of others. To achieve support of others: See things from their eyes, think as if your in the other side. Always handle the things as a human way.
• Being a good listener is very important in life. Listening gives us more information to make important decisions. To practice listening encourage others to talk in personal or group meetings. Ask about tell me about your experiences, what you think to done about this and what you think the key point here. Do information research. Concentrate in others what they said. Always ask yourself how you can I do this better, how can i do more.

• Fear is biggest enemy. It decreases our mental ability. It makes people sick. It closes your mouth when you want to speak in public. No one is born with confidence. Action cures fear. Before taking action think that is it correct and human way of doing things. When ever you feel fear think that what kind of action I should take to avoid fear. There are some fears which can't be avoidable in such time play with small kids, go for a movie, Put some extra work in some special project. Biggest fear is that what other people say and think about you.
  

• Give value to your ideas by acting in it. Action improves your confidence. Before thinking of task. Go and do that task. for e.g. Going for a Movie. Doing exercise etc. Be active not passive. Be a doer. Don't wait until the conditions are perfect to act. Get more ideas but these ideas are valid when you act on it.

• Successful people meets the problems and work out on difficulties when they do arise. Cross bridge when you come on it.
  

• Always store positive thoughts in mind. Always think about positive things that happened with you through out the day before you go to bed. Always think positive if you get negative thoughts try to divert you mind from that.

• Fear on other people is a big fear. To overcome that fear you have to keep the people in proper prospective. Other people are basically like you so there is no reason to fear. Other person is important as much as you are. Every person as his own problems, desires etc. Understanding attitude is very important in life if some body insults you and scolds you simply think that this person is having a bad day. Control your fire. We can change our attitude by changing our physical attitude.
  

• Always sit in front seat. Always maintain eye contact. walk 25% faster. practicing speaking up. Speak up at every opportunity. Every open meeting you attend speak up. Every family gathering speak up. Make a contribution. Make a suggestion. Ask a question. Speak slowly and clearly. Smile big to improve your confidence.