Thursday, October 22, 2009

Good skills for people

All of us want good communication skills, interpersonal skills, social skills, leadership skills and soft skills. Success in any business, occupation or profession depends on 85% of people skills. Lot of people fail in life because they haven't mastered the skills with people. All your personality depends on relation with other people. To be more happy we should not be more intelligent.

Following are important points in dealing with people.

1) Understanding the human ego.

In the heart of everyone there is some thing which demands respect. We are more interested in ourselves. Every person wants to feel important. If you like yourself then you will like others. We should fulfill others ego by giving respect and approval. To get good from people, their basic needs should be fulfilled. For e.g. if a person is hungry, we should give him food first because they cannot give attention to other things. when the ego-hunger is satisfied and when they are in high self esteem they are cheerful, generous, tolerant and willing to listen to others. when self esteem is low they think negative, they talk a lot, they show-off ( deliberately behave to attract attention) and they become aggressive. With genuine compliments and real praise you can feed the ego of low esteem people. create the habit of giving five sincere compliments each day. Every person help or may not help depends on own ego. Help others like themselves better. Satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.

2) The importance of making others feel important.

It is within your power to make them like themselves better. It is within your power to make them feel appreciated and accepted. Always give respect and nice with people makes them feel important. You must recognize the other person. Give credit for suggestions. Encourage others. Don't criticize employees in front of others. Ask employees for their opinions. Inform employees for their progress. Think other people are important. when you are trying to deal with a group try to acknowledge everyone in group. Notice people when you get time. Don't try to compete with any one. If you want to impress any one let them know that you are impressed by them. when some body insults you, ask yourself does it make any real difference. Don't try to win battles if it is related to ego.

3) Controlling the Actions and Attitudes of others:

You have to adopt the attitude you want others to express. When you want to get out of an explosive situation keep your voice as soft as possible don't wait until other person gets angry. Always act confidently. To get confidence you have to believe in yourself and act confidently to get others belief in you. Moderate your tone of voice. smile from within.

4) Creating a good impression:

When you are dealing with others set the stage depends on situation. Before going to any kind of discussion ask yourself what do i really want from this. what mood i should have. create the tone according to that. Don't worry what others think because the world forms its opinion of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves. If some body asks you in which company you are working, if u can't say the name of company say the quality of the company which you like. For e.g: I work in one of top five IT companies. Never go for competition with any one. If you want to make a good impression boost your own product. If you want others should yes to you, Good rule is ask some preliminary questions for which they must say yes. Then ask big question for which they say yes.

5) Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation:

Attracting people with Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation.
Acceptance: Accept others as they are,
Approval: See the things which are good in others.
Appreciation: show their good values in them. some ways of appreciation are

  • Don't keep them waiting.
  • If there is someone you cannot see immediately, acknowledge their presence.
  • Thank people.
  • Treat them as special.
6) Communicate Effectively:

Get people talking about themselves.
  • Ask questions like Where are you from? what do you think of our weather? What business are you in? If any body says I work in a software company near to majestic. Don't ask directly about software company, ask first where is majestic. then ask which software company. Always show you are interested in themselves. If some body tells lets talk about yourself. what do u think about my working domain. topic is related to you but he is talking.
  • Talk about yourself when you are invited and asked. Talk little bit about yourself but don't overdo it. use me too technique. If someone says I was raised on a farm and you say "I was too". Any thing about you or your past that is similar to others will help them to like you. Always use happy talk. If any thought disturbs you write it in a paper burn it, repeat it three times.
7) Listening:

when you are listening what they are saying, then they think that you are smart. Listening makes you clever. People will tell you what they want if you will listen. Listening helps overcome self-consciousness. You should know what people want, what they need and who they are in order to deal them effectively. Practice the art of listening:

  • look at the person who is talking.
  • Nod your head
  • Lean forward
  • Ask questions.
  • Don't interrupt.
  • Stick to the speakers subject.
8) Getting people to Agree:

  • Listen to them completely, pause before answering, Don't try to win 100%, State your idea moderately and accurately, Speak through third parties like Statistics, records, history and quotes. To say others are wrong say like this " I felt the same way about it at first, After getting more information it changed my complete picture.
  • Giving Praise: Thank people with their names by looking at them. If you want to be happy look good things in people. praise must be sincere, praise the act or attribute rather than the person.
9) Criticizing others without offending them:

Criticism must be made in absolute privacy. Preface criticism with kind word or compliment, criticize the act, not the person. If you do any mistake say, I don't know what is expected of me. Ask for cooperation, don't demand it for e.g. Will you make these corrections?. One criticism to an offense ( don't criticize again and again) , Finish in a friendly fashion ( I know i can count on you).

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